2009 was a whirlwind of change for me. Beginning at the end of 2008, I made drastic choices that substantially altered my life. Not to say that I regret any choices I make, but (excuse my cliche) hindsight is always 20/20.
I've learned to accept that our path is chosen solely by own discretion. Like the old adage, "do what you love, and the rest will follow".
Among the biggest changes of my life, would be the choice to move. Of all my family with the exception of my cousins in Hong Kong, I am the only cousin (1st, 2nd, 3rd and beyond) to move more than half a day's drive away. A distance of over 2000 miles and the other ocean just a stone's throw away was quite a big deal for my family.
Although I am a independent person who doesn't particularly dwell on being apart from family, there is the odd time where there is a sense of longing to be around my cousins. Being back home for the Christmas holidays has showed me just how much I enjoy the company of my family (in moderation of course).
Other changes in my life include learning to ski, breaking long accustomed bad habits and reinventing my social circle.
I learned to ski over the 2008-09 winter season and had a blast doing so. With 2 trips to the mountains already, I would say for a beginner skiier that I have come a long way in a very short time.
Over the first half of 2009, I took a long hard look at the type of person I was, and realized just how much I didn't like the reflection. I spent a moderate amount of time and effort to reverse 22 years of spoiled-brat-syndrome/princess-complex. Although I'm not quite where I want to be yet, I'm proud to say that I'm not where I was at this time last year.
While reinventing my personality, I also took a look outward. I believe your friends are a reflection of the type of person you are, and 2009 offered me a very clear glance of how other's view me. I realized my circle of friends did not reflect how I wanted to be, or what I was comfortable with at all. I realized my circle of friends didn't really know who I was, and didn't care to know the real me either. I realized how superficial my relationships with people around me really were.
At the end of 2008, I contacted all my high school friends again, and haven't looked back since. These are the people I am truly comfortable with, and they are the group of people who know me best. To find people who know you inside and out, and can predict your next move, is what friendship is all about.
I spent a good portion of the year trimming my inner circle of friends. Although I may have (seemingly) been harsh to some people, it's no longer about them. For so long I have been focused on being as accommodating as I can to people I know, so they would like me better. I've learned (the hard way) that neglecting yourself is no way to go about social interaction. Be confident, not conceited; be certain, not arrogant.
There are a multitude of other things that have happened in 2009, but which would make this a very lengthy post full of strings of words that no one would read. 2009 was definitely a year of change, and I can only expect more of the same in 2010. With a year of it under my belt, hopefully everything can come around smoother, and transitions done in a better fashion.
It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.
- Sharon Salzberg
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